My mother is the queen of low blows and guilt trips. The best part is that she thinks that right after it all that I should forgive her and act like nothing happened. Honestly, I don't know how to do that. For me, there is a point of no return and she has passed it several times. She doesn't understand why I'm separating from her and why I want to move out. I swear this is a crazy mix of our cultures negotiating with each other then having to deal with the American dominant culture. Yes, I'm gonna go scholarly with you all because this post is getting too serious even for me.
First off, my mother is Indian and Jewish which totally confirms that she can and will do the first statement of the post. (Don't even try to deny it). While being her daughter, I am also Indian and Jewish. However, I do have a father which makes me Italian. Can you see why I'm not good at forgiving and forgetting? (Oh the post of stereotypes!)
However, there will always be a natural conflict between us wherever we live. The Indian side saying that I should live with her until death. (I am her only child.) While the American side says that I am a loser if I live with her past high school. Yet, Chicago being a city of immigrant parents, I can get away with it a little bit.
My life is full of these multicultural contradictions that traumatize me on a daily basis. I feel at times that I am the only one. I know that is not true, but its not like I talk about these problems or have people that relate to them in my real life.
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I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Personally, if she is incapable of having a mature adult-to-adult relationship with you, you don't have to live with her, in my opinion. If she cannot treat you decently, and with the respect any human being deserves, you don't owe that to her. Don't sacrifice your own life and happiness.
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